Happy warmness and what?

Donny

What a wonderful days it had been. Dad and I have had long conversations over what happened and how, as much as I loved her, she was not the right cat at the right time. She was not able to return my love, for whatever reason, and for that I am sad, but I do wish her well. I have not heard from her since she left in her pink car.
Dad and I have never slept better. He makes me sit on his lap as soon as he gets home and, try as he might to convince me otherwise, he wants to hold me and love me every moment of the day.
I try to fall asleep on my side of the bed and he insists on wrapping his arms around me to keep me warm. Secretly I like it.
We have gotten into our pattern again. I remind him of what to do every day. His light box goes off at different times every morning, but I know he likes to be gently woken by my gentle touch when the sun comes up.
He silences his magic box and states at it for a while. When it is time for him to go to the litter box I show him the way and talk him through the process. I wish he would do the same for me, but I digress.
He then throws on his temporary fur and we walk downstairs as I tell him what flavor breakfast I would like. He usually complies.
We then go back upstairs and he puts our bed in good order and he takes off his fur and goes back to his litter box.
I drink my water on the counter next to him as he defurs his face.
He then goes in the loud water white box and gets wet.
We then go in the cold room where he keeps his fur. He picks which fur he wants for the day.
I don't always agree with his choices and we argue over this.
He leaves.
I used to think he never comes back, but he usually does.
Lots of white stuff outside.
Chew treats have returned to the trees.
He put water in a tall glass the other day. Put a plant in. Something floats in the water.

Jean-Pierre

Sacrebleu! I was in a tiny ocean weeth horrid light and zen I am roughly taken to zee cold and zen put een a beegeer ocean. I have frond to hide in. Zhere ees somesing grande a noir e blanc on zee ozer side. I do not sink hee haz seen me yet. Zees is good.

Bliss

Donny

My dad is so cuddly. He made my love/ my nemesis disappear. He knew, although I loved her, it was not a love that would last through the ages. She made it clear she did not want kittens. Ever. She made it clear she was not into cuddling. She made it clear my food was hers, my bathroom was hers, and my life was in her paws.  I still loved her.
Last night, sleep was wonderful. Dad and I held hands and chatted and watched silly cat videos on the flat room thingy that I can't seem to figure out how to get in. I see fish and cats in it, but can't get to them.
Dad brought me a bag of deliciousness. Unfortunately, he does not remember to leave the bag open. I told him in the middle of the dark that he forgot.
Dad asked me if I wanted a pet. I don't know what he is talking about, but if it tastes good, I say yes.

Sammie

I am free of Stupid and Warden. Life is good. Ok, better.. Just need to get Nanna to feed me more and stop talking at me so loudly. She is too loud. Maybe I'll kill her in her sleep and have the place to myself. That would be a good day.

Sammienara

Donny

The toughest day so far. My moody lady is in a fit.
I look and my food is there..I walk away and my food is gone. I am so confused.. Not just gone, but the bowl and toys and now my second bathroom is in the wrong place. Doors are closed that weren't before. I can't find my friend. She's around here somewhere, just haven't located her yet. Dad keeps taking things through the big door and then returning without them. A pink bag has arrived. I think my girlfriend is in there. Has she won a prize? I am jealous.

Hours later. I still can't find her despite dad being home for a while. We cuddle in bed. I hold his paws. He likes that. He trims my nails. I don't care for that. I hope she shows up soon. But then again, I sort of don't. She squirrels me too much.
I like her no matter what.

Sammie

Today I take over the place. All the food is mine.
I ambush Stupid coming out of my bathroom. Tired of this sharing crap.
Wait a moment. Stupid's food is missing. Mine too. My water is gone. Now my bathroom has disappeared.
Bring it warden.
We struggle. Stupid diverts Warden's attention. I escape. I run upstairs. Stupid follows. Doors are closing at every turn. I must get to safe space.
An hour later I am in my hiding place. Warden is blabbing to me. I allow him to massage me.

Dammit, he caught me off guard and necks me and places me in the padded pink cell.
I am being carried down.
I am blinded by brightness.
I am forced into a moving thing.
We move.
We arrive and stop.
I am carried to a familiar place and put on ground. Bag is unzipped.
It's traitor Nanna.  I check to make sure Stupid did not follow.
I go to my happy place. The cold white thingy.
Nanna and Warden leave.
Abandoned again.
I shall poop on her pillow.
Glad I was released from that prison. Not sure what they thought I did to be put in there but hopefully never again.
Horrible torture.

Throwing the catnip in...

Donny

I don't seem to do anything right. My Sammie doesn't understand I just want to be all lovey and kitty with her. She has her moments where she lets me near her and noses me.  Then, without notice she has her moments where she lashes out and paws me and chases me into corners. This morning I was sitting in my favorite chair and she snuck up on me and windmilled me.
I didn't do anything. Why Dog, why?
 I almost don't want to cuddle with her for fear she will change her mind, mid purr.  I hear her eating my food and playing with my toys in the middle of the night. Why alone??? I'm the best cat in the world. Dad tells me all the time I am.
How do I move on from her? I need to have a conversation with Dad and see if maybe she can go away. This is too painful to continue.
Did I mention she eats my food in the middle of the night? That's just not right.
I do like her littler box though.
Maybe I can chat with her.  Wait here, I'll be right back....

Sammie

This place is mine.
 I have worn him down.
 I have trained them both to cower in fear.
Warden is my bitch.
I scream for food. He responds.
 I scream for litter change.  He jumps.
I boldly chew with my mouth open with eating stupids food so they can hear. They can do nothing about it.
He yells, scolds, but I scurry away like a good inmate, knowing he is an idiot and will return as soon as his back is turned.
This morning I put Stupid in the grovel position and I didn't even have to touch him. Warden watched in horror. Tonight I walked up to warden in the food room and looked up at him then began eating Stupid's food in front of him. He pointed me to go away.  I stopped and walked away, knowing I made my point.
Next will be to take over the top floor and force them to leave permanently. I'm tired of sharing.
Oh crap, Stupid has come to get yet another beat down. I'll be just a moment...

Done being nice....

Donny
I don't understand what I have done to make her grow so distant again.  We were mere paws away from making kittens and she has retreated back to her anger. I do not know what I can do to win her back. She eats my food, borrows my toys, squirrels me when I come around corners and doesn't even nose me any more. I try to win her over by pooping frequently in our litter boxes, but nothing. Why Dog, why are you doing this to me????

Sammie
I'm done acting nice.
I can't pull it off.
I'm not a nice cat by nature. Suck it up and deal with it Stupid.  You want to be with me, you gotta like it rough.
Real rough.
I find myself emotionally eating.
Tonight I waited until after Warden got home and done with his massage of me, then ate my dried food in front of him, eyeballing him the whole time, trying to get him to realize I am going to eat everything in sight. My food, Stupid's food, the butter on the counter.... Then do the most massive explosive dump on his beloved padded floor while simultaneously coughing up a juicy hairball.  That's how much I am done with this place.
All he said was, " Good girl."
I'll show him good...
He's up there now trying to convince me to come up there and chat.  I may be sexy but these looks have brains to go with them.
I'll wait til he's asleep......

Magic walls

Donny
Lots of white stuff falling from above. 
 Dad stays in bed too long. He keeps napping even though it is well past morning chimee treat. 
Even my love is complaining about the service this morning. Eventually I convince him to wake and walk with me down to the dining corner. 
Sammie my love is standing by my side waiting patiently for our glamorous wet food course. 
This is the most exciting part of my day( until Sammie moved in that is).
Sammie made me wait while she decided which bowl she wanted. Anything for her. 
I thought she decided and went for the other dish. When it looked like she wanted to high five me for my patience, dad shockingly intervened and swatted Sammie. 
Boy was she surprised! 
She ran off to cry in a corner. 

After I finished my wet course I ran to find her and explain he misread our love for each other. She seems moody today. I still love her.

Sammie
What the hell? I'm hungry for my crappy gruel. White is falling out past the magic clear walls.
 Who cares. 
I'm hungry.
 I scream at Warden to get his ass downstairs.
 I threaten to do a running urination on his padded floors. 
That got him up. He comes down and throws pitifully small portions of wet crap in bowls and puts them equidistant to Stupid and me. 
This is one of his psychological tests.
 I'll show him. 
I'll take both. 
Stupid thinks he gets some. I wind up to sucker punch and mortally wound him and get blindsided by Warden. 
 I retreat. 
He won the battle but I will win the war. 
Fucker. 

Heavens

Donny
The heavens have aligned. My beloved has come round. 
She is a shy thing. 
I can't wait for kittens. We nosed each other. Then we dined romantically on wet food together at my place. 
Then i pooped.
 Today is a great day.

Sammie
Fine. 
Warden is not horrible. Not much smarter than stupid, but at least he massages me.
 I reminded Warden this morning to feed me on time. If only he would forbid Stupid from using my private bathroom. I saw him scold Stupid.
 That was fun. 
Then he switched our bathrooms boxes.  I think a test to see how stupid Stupid is. 
Stupid is not dangerous I have concluded. 
Just stupid.
 I nosed him as a sign that he is my bitch. 
Then I tried to eat his wet food. 
I think he thought it was a date. 
Stupid. 

Buffet?

Donny
I can't believe there has been food in another location in this place all this time and I never knew it! And I just found a second bathroom. No stairs and fluffier litter. 
This place keeps getting better and better. 
Oh. My love is still here. She almost kissed me today. She came to my bedroom last night to say good night. Then ran away blushing.

Sammie
He eats my food and shits in my personal bathroom. 
I was disliking him less and less until I discovered this gem. 
Thank Dog Warden yells at him. He's too stupid to get it though.
 I decided the toys in the big room are fun. And like to play in the dark with them. 
I ventured up to wardens room.
 I figured I could poop in his bathroom since Stupid is using mine. No litter box there. 
Dammit. 
As I come out I notice warden in a comfy sleeping area. I decide to visit him and maybe knead his balls in torture. 
Then I get ambushed by Stupid who is hiding in the folds of the fabric. I escape with my life. 

Kittens?

Donny
I can almost touch her. It is killing me we cannot snuggle and make kittens. At midnight she began singing to me. I waited for her at the top of the stairs hoping she would come to me, but alas, she played coy.

Sammie
They are both so stupid. 
Stupid found my food and eats it. I will kill him later for this abuse. 
Warden sees me mornings and nights. I decided to send out a signal to others in the area to see if a rescue mission can be set up to help me escape this dull existence. I decided my voice would carry better in the big room. 
Stupid heard me and sat at the top of the stairs and waited to ambush me. 
Warden is no better. He tried talking back to me but he, in fact, was talking in meercat. 
Not cat. 
Idiot.
 I let him think I understood him and kept talking til 1 am. 
No rescue mission yet has responded yet.

Not so silent scream

Donny
Napping on dad in the morning. What is that mellifluous sound coming from downstairs?  Is she asking me to play with her? To make kittens with her?
I run to hear my beloved up close. I crouch outside the door of the red room and listen to her sing love songs to me.

Sammie
I woke this morning with the urge to torture the world. I scream at the top of my lungs and wait for Stupid to arrive. 
I will sucker punch him then have my gruel. I can hear warden trying to scream back but I ignore him. He is good for massage and nothing else.
 I grow tired of screaming. Warden arrives for morning massage and gruel delivery. I think today I shall take over the upper level and push stupid off and kill him. 
Then sing. 
Idiots. 

Boudoir

Donny
She lets me in the red room. How exciting is that? I don't know why dad lets her in there in the cold times, and not me, but who cares, it's another room to play in.
She found my boudoir upstairs this evening. I was hiding under my chair in the corner when dad brought her up to see my bed. I snuck up and surprised her. 
She squirreled me and ran. 
I followed her trying to tell her I love her and her coyish ways. 
That didn't fare so well.
We even got massages from dad at same time later that day. I want kittens with her. She's the one.

Sammie
Evil warden took me up to his office from which he overlooks the prison.  Then he left, for the ambush to occur. 
Stupid attacks me. 
The floor is soft and patterned and muffled the sound of Stupid approaching. I mortally wounded him and ran back to my cell. 
I hate eating on the balcony in my cell but stupid will eat all my gruel. I am tired of his adolescence. I will kill him this weekend.

Redrum

Donny
That brown haired cutie is smart. She knows how to move walls and open mystery rooms! She lets me in the same room as her now too. She still has a touch of asthma I think, but maybe if I cuddle with her, she might forget how phlegmy she is.

Sammie
Stupid won't quit. 
I have realized he is harmless, but annoying. I won't expend as much energy fighting him. Will save that for warden. 
Taught myself how to get into other victims cells. 
The what I think is the torture room is painted red. 
Simple body weight and I unlocked the door. Warden seemed surprised but he can't keep me out. Stupid follows me closer every day. 
Tomorrow I venture into the big room. I have a feeling there is more to explore and maybe an escape door I have not found yet. 
Food here is crap and I am fed wet food the wrong time of day. The insane running the asylum.

Squirrels and massages

Donny
Oh this brown haired girl is a vixen. I love that she plays hard to get.
 For example,  I knew this morning she would love to watch squirrels at sunrise with me so I went to the kitchen to wake her and ask her to join me by the clear magic wall. 
I think I must have startled her because she squirreled me once again. 
 She is a fast one, this brown haired temptress.
 Once I regained consciousness, I felt it best to let her wake up on her own.  I will try again later.... Maybe a late brunch and a cuddle or at least a conversation.. 
 Human is leaving here.. I assume he will never come back. Usually he does and I am very happy when he does..

Sammie
Warden opened my cell door sometime in the night. Stupid tried to attack me on the balcony in the early morning light. I am sure I mortally wounded him, once again. He ran to his human. 
Stupid.
 It gave me time to get back to the safety of my cell. Warden brought be food, water and a place to poop. Not that that will stop my destruction of his prison when he least expects it. 
Stupid tried to find me and kill me. I sat on the balcony to better watch stupid. He never looked up. Stupid. Warden came back and kicked stupid.
 For that I allowed him to massage me. He is nearly as stupid as stupid. I will wear him down then Kill him.

Day 1, Part 2

Donny
What a frustrating day this has been. 
I finally have another of my kind in my house and dad won't let me near her. She stayed in the water making white thing, for the longest time. 
Then dad took her to the thingy by my litterbox. 

I think she may have something stuck in her throat. She keep making lots of sounds.

I got bored and looked at squirrels. Dad put me in the ann frank room and accidentally closed the door. I could hear him watching the picture thingy but he must not have heard me. How frustrating. Eventually he realized I was there and let me out.
I went to find my new best friend.. She was in the hall. I tried to introduce myself. She mistook me for someone else, clearly, because she went squirrel on me and ran. 
Luckily I followed her,  trying to explain.... She must have needed a little more time as she squirreled me again the kitchen...dad sprayed me with that silly bottle many times. 
I am confused. 
She seems nice. 
 Several trips to the closet and many sprays later, I sit at the top of the stairs and wait for my friend to find me so we can play.

Sammie
This is hell.
I was ok in my white thing. But was forced out of the safety of my cell to the big room where this vile, simple creature stared at me. I kept warning him,  don't come near me or I'll kill you.. He must not speak my language because he kept approaching.
I tried to return to he safety of my cell but the door had been closed, leaving me exposed to ambush.
I huddled in the corner and waited for the stupid one to return. Right on cue, he did.  He kept at me and I showed him what I was made of. I lost two nails in the process
, one in his skull, but I know I mortally wounded him.
I ran to another area and accidentally  cornered myself. The warden talks incessantly to me. I do not understand him. He seems nice enough, but he watered me one too many times. Those things he puts on his bottom paws are mine in the night. He brought me food and water. Then stupid arrived again. Kicked his ass once more for the fun of it.
Time moves slowly in this torture center. After hours of waiting, warden begins to work with what smelled like food on a device that looks like something I've seen. I warned him not to come near me. He kept his distance.
I wanted a higher to view stupids eventual return. Warden brought food and water to my new location. I rewarded him with letting him massage me. I let him think I liked it by purring. I lulled him into a sense of security. Sleep lightly warden.

Day 1

Donny
I am so excited to see a girl. I have not smelled one since I was a kitten. Dad says I have to be good. Not sure what that means but if it means I get a chimee treat, ok... 
Dad came in just a bit ago with a pink bag. It didn't move much. He was trying to show me something. I didn't get it. 
Dad is dumb. 
The bonus today is I have a second bathroom. Smells not like my poop, but I will soon rectify that.. No stress here. 
Dad keeps going in his second litter box and talking. 
He's dumb 

Sammie
Nanna sucks. 
Mom sucks. 
At least the prison guard unzipped the bag when he put me in my cold white happy place.
 He brought me water. I shall thank him later.... By throwing up on his favorite possession. I will wait it out and find what is most dear to him. 
I have nothing but time.